Personal, Twins

Just Another Reflection of 2018

As I write this, my two boys are within each others company, innocently fascinated by the world around them. I thought I had already learned what this place, what life could offer, but I could not have been more naive.

My story became something I never would have dreamt of, of the many, many dreams that I have had. Some say that there are reasons that life happens a certain way, none of it fair, but all of it having a meaning. God, if you believe in or have some faith has a plan. Trust in this higher power, more so, I believe trust in yourself.

On the topic of trust, truth be told this past year has been one that has taught me and made me relearn so many things that have been wrongly forgotten and things that I thought I had already known the meaning to.

My children have taught me more patience, more strength and the true meaning of the word ‘sacrifice.’ A mother’s love and a mother’s will is the embodiment of the word. Not only did I give my body to grow and nourish them, but I also give to them a piece of my soul. Every waking moment in the last year and a half of their existence has been about them – they will always come first now and I second.

They have also shown me something that I had long forgotten. As a little girl I was never afraid of being my genuine self, as an adult, I cared too much for perfectionism and being perceived a certain way – that is no way to live, to have to pretend, be ashamed or afraid of judgement. My sons have retaught me this important lesson, to not be afraid to show the world what excites me, what disappoints me and what I am unsure of.

I love differently now and have much more appreciation for the little moments and gestures. Everything is fleeting and delicate and we are only here for so long as time allows.

Goodbye year, we will never meet again in the same way as we are now. My resolution is to make the most of my story in the years coming and be as true, honest and real to myself as I can be.

I wish you the same.